Being a middle or project manager is exhausting! You are the one who constantly have to make work life easier for others. While at the same time you have to make sure the directions coming from above get implemented in daily practice. You are constantly caught in the middle!
This is the position of stress and burnout. Often you end up being the 'firefighter'; send out by top management or directors to put the fire out and trying to save your team on the floor (or the project) from being too damaged.
The metaphor might seem exaggerated but that's nonetheless how a lot of middle and project managers end up feeling.
When you are middle managing, maybe you are managing a team, you of course have leadership responsibilities. When you are project managing, you might not have direct staff management responsibilities. However, you do indirectly as you will often be the one managing and being responsible for the project team's work for the duration of the project. There are many similarities between these two positions.
The middle manager with direct staff responsibilities might have the mandate to act as a manager or team leader but will have to adhere to the direction set out by the top management.
The project manager will have to navigate the same challenges; members of a projects team will likely have their own individual line managers but their line managers are not responsible for the project work you have been put in charge of. So indirectly, you manage the project team, you are responsible for the work they deliver to the project and their motivation during the project life span. You just don't always have the authority to lead them although you will be left with the responsibility on a lot of occasions.
There are lots of learning possibilities to take with you from these positions as long as you watch out for your own wellfare along the way. A lot of the time you won't necessarily notice the toll the job is taking on you until it is too late.
So, why are these positions so exhausting and why do so many middle and project managers end up stressed, feeling burnout and sometimes even on long periods of sick leave?
Let's have a look at some of the most common challenges and how to survive them:
1) Caught in never-ending conflict.
Whenever there are any kinds of difficult work relationships between members of your team, you will have to be the mediator and the 'buffer'. Either this is directly your responsibility as a team leader or it is something that delays or harms a project that you are project managing. Therefore, you have to deal with it. In most cases you will have very little support from your own management or line managers. They will expect you to deal with it and you to make things run smoothly. Be careful, though, that you are not made to feel like you have somehow failed at your job, if you don't solve other people's conflicts.
It's amazing sometimes how much of your time you spend in (what is for the project) unproductive conflict meetings trying to find solutions to how people can work professionally together. Sometimes it can be a conflict between your own colleagues and sometimes it might involve external partners on a project. Either way, you have to stay neutral and be the mediator (be careful that you don't end up as the go-between in a never-ending conflict).
This is one of the most exhausting positions imaginable. Especially, if conflicts go on and on within a team or project work. And especially, if you have a weak line manager yourself or perhaps the gap between 'top and bottom' in your organisation is too big.
Survival guide:
Be aware (VERY aware!) of how much of this is actually your responsibility! You cannot take other people's conflict or unprofessional work attitude on your shoulders. Remember to ask them to come up with solutions themselves. The problem is theirs, so how do they actually want to solve this? Remember, it is very easy to moan and whine. Especially, when you have someone to moan and whine to (and who better than the 'firefighter'!?)! If they are really interested in contributing to this project, how would they like the collaboration with each other to work out then?
If you have repeatedly tried to solve conflicts between certain members of your team or project team, with no success, go to your own managers. They have a responsibility too. If they, in return, repeatedly push the issues back to you and do nothing, they are failing their responsibilities. And you should consider if they are actually worth working for!
Again remember: It is not your responsibility to make sure people act professionally. As long as you act professionally and neutral in conflict situations and try to keep your eyes on the ball and deal with the actually issue (and leave the drama out! Yes, conflicts always come with drama), then you are doing your job.
If you are a project manager with no formal staff responsibility, remember that you are not being paid enough to deal with unprofessional co-workers and therefore you are not responsible for their project contribution (or lack of same), not even if they are working on a project you are managing. This can be difficult, not just because you will be facing pressure from your own management, but also because the people involved will be your colleagues. This makes your position a really peculiar 'in-between' position as you are not their manager but managing their project work. Make sure to have clarity on areas of responsibility here! And be very careful how you manage communication with the project team. If you naturally get on well with some team members and not so well with others (which is always the case) be careful not to show this. Which brings us to point no. 2.
2) Caught in fake positivity.
You are the one who has to keep the morale and motivation up within a team. This is especially difficult if a project or a piece of work goes on for a long time. There will be ups and downs. It is very easy to feel like you are the constant deliverer of positive vibes and 'motherly' support. You have to be the shoulder to cry on, the cheerleader and the coach. And your contribution is rarely noticed because what you do is not really tangible. You don't produce 'a product'. You make sure others can produce their 'products'. There will be some members of a team that require more support and shoulders to cry on than others. And you will naturally be spending a lot of time with them. There will also be some who moan and whine more than others as part of their work process. Sometimes this ironically make them better at their job or quicker at delivering. They just have to 'park' their worries with someone. They can be very exhausting to work with and you have to be careful not to let them drain you or take your focus away from the work. Often you will try to 'solve' this with positivity and trying to make them realise the positive aspects of the work. This might sometimes work and sometimes it leads to fake positivity.
Survival guide:
Keep your eyes on the project work and on the project phases you are in charge of. Stay professional in your personal relations! This is hard, as a huge part of your work also has to do with keeping morale and motivation up. Don't devote all your time on a couple of demanding team members and risk neglecting others or the project work.
The best approach is to be a coach when you cannot officially be a manager or leader. Support the team members in solving their own problems by asking open insightful questions. Don't let them dump their problems on your desk. If helpful, talk to their line managers (if this is not you). They know them best and might be facing the same challenges with particular members of staff. You might be able to come up with a useful strategy for how to inspire and motivate team members who requires a lot.
Also, remember to check in with yourself and your own motivational style. There is nothing worse than toxic or fake positivity. And when you are the keeper of morale, it is easy to be caught up in this. Always trying to see the positive and always trying to see the road ahead. Sometimes things are just difficult. And it can be helpful to just say that! And then pick each other up and find a way forward together. Sometimes this will actually get you further with a team than to try and act positive when things are clearly difficult. Being honest and supportive, and of course still trying to find solutions and ways forward, will help you build trust and rapport within a team.
3) Caught between 'top and bottom'.
You are working in the space between all the strategic thoughts and larger organisational visions - and the daily practice that has to carry it all out and make it happen. You sit in on meetings where directors and top managers discuss visions and long-term strategies. But you are the 'smallest player' at the table during these meetings. And then you go back and have to chair meetings with your team and 'translate' to them what has been decided from above.
Your managers will hassle you! Your team will resist and protest!
If your top management is particularly poor at communicating their vision, you might not always know yourself what they actually want to see carried out (often they won't know either or disagree internally on how to implement their visions). This happens more often than we think.
Survival guide:
Make sure you always know exactly what to take with you back to your project team! If it is not clear, ask directly! It is not your job to 'translate' what you think the top management has decided or make interpretations about it. They have to state clearly what they expect to be carried out and take your views on time management, resources, budget etc. into consideration. You sit with this work every day, you know what is manageable with the resources (time, people, money) available. If they cannot state clearly what they want or what they expect - or if they don't include you in discussions about the practical implementation of ideas and visions - then again consider if this is the organisation for you!
For project managers on time-limited, budget-limited and skills-limited projects, it is particularly important to gain clarification on what is expected with the resources you have available and with what you can do yourself within the objectives.
4) Caught in endless meetings and emails.
Yep - this is your work life! And it can often feel like you never really get around to doing anything productive or efficient. Or like you never really get a change to use your skills properly. You sit in meetings all the time, perhaps even write minutes, your chair meetings and you answer and write emails. Often you are expected to answer quickly and at all times of day.
Survival guide:
Remember to set boundaries! You are NOT meant to be available to everybody all the time. Make it clear that you cannot answer 'urgent' emails when you are in meetings or when you are not working (for example on your days off). It is so easy to be caught in this unhealthy habit of being 'on' all the time in these roles and it will break you eventually if you are not clear on your boundaries.
Shorten meetings where you can. Set a very strict time on the meetings you chair yourself. Meetings are not productive if they go on forever. As middle and project managers we often make the mistake of thinking that we must make sure to hear everyone and make time for everyone etc. This is vicious circle! Make the meetings short and concise. They will be much more productive and clearer for everyone. And you will win time.
Remember: A lot of meetings should have been an email! And a lot of emails should not have been at all.
5) Caught in the present.
Now we come to you! What do you actually want to achieve with this position? Do you want to advance within this organisation? Or perhaps at another organisation? Do you want to add to your skills within a certain sector? If so, how is this position helping you to do this? What do you enjoy about this job? What do you not enjoy?
Are you getting the right support? What does the right support look like for you?
Are you managing your own emotional state? Are you actually prioritising your own well-being while looking after others?
These questions are important, so consider them. Think about your future and where you would like for this job to take you. It's okay to just be in it for the money for a while. We all are to a certain degree. But are you just caught in the present, with no clear idea of your future, and do you actually want to be doing this in a year's time, 2 years time, 5 or 10 years time? Which aspects of the job would you like to keep doing? And in which way? Think seriously about what you can and want to take with you into your future career, job and professional as well as personal life. Reflect on your own journey!
Remember to ask for help and support when you need it! A lot of middle and project managers fail to do this, because they feel they have somehow failed at their jobs, if they can't solve conflicts or 'translate' hopeless visions from top management to project team. Remind yourself of what is actually within your area of responsibility. This might be very different from what your managers are trying to convince you is your responsibility.
Survival guide:
If you don't know how to answer these questions; get some coaching! This is exactly what coaching is all about! To help you get clarity on your own goals. To support you in figuring out what really matters to you in your work life and career as well as in your personal life. And to motivate you to reach your own goals and make them a reality!
Working as a middle or project manager often feels like navigating very troubled waters. Sometimes you are the captain (with or without the hat!) and have to steer. And sometimes you are just another sailor working hard to set the sails.
These are the job positions where you probably learn the most about yourself as a leader, motivator and supporter of others and also about how top management work when they are at their best and at their worst. There are a lot to take with you into your future from these types of jobs.
However, there are sadly also a lot of pitfalls. Especially around looking after yourself, your own health and mental state and your own professionalism. Some of these pitfalls can be serious, and might lead to serious stress and burnout, if you don't notice the danger in time. Sadly, a lot of organisations are still not very good at supporting middle and project managers. So, pay attention to the danger signals in time. It is often the little things that start to matter: Are you sleeping well enough? Do you get irritated easily and start to turn on your friends, family etc.? How do you feel when getting into work every day or when you log on to your work email? Have you thought about how you thrive, develop and move forward - either in this job or doing something else? Do you have a backup plan?
Remember to always reach out when needed and to be creative about how you can form your own path in life.
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